After recent revelations that 500 Israeli families are ready to settle and build new towns in the Gaza Strip “immediately”, Disney, who rightfully gave Israel $2 million in aid after the horrific October 7th attack, but not a dime to Palestinian aid since, has announced they are planning to build a new Disneyland in Gaza. Disney has no theme parks in the Middle East; this real estate opportunity could solve that. It isn’t just Disney looking to capitalise in Gaza. Airbnb and Booking.com are looking to create and support accommodation in these new Gazan towns that give an authentic local experience, such as witnessing the horror of apartheid, settler violence, human rights breaches and, of course, genocide, all while you soak up the Mediterranean sun. As avid supporters of Israel, Volvo, Caterpillar, JCB and Hyundai have all pledged to provide a giant fleet of excavators to the Gaza settlers, as for some unknown reason, the real estate is covered in tonnes of rubble and the body parts of women and children.
Disney wanted to ensure the park focused on stories relevant to the region, so initial plans included a replica of Agrabah, the town from Aladdin. Sadly, these had to be scrapped over fears the IDF would accidentally blow it to smithereens. Instead, the section will celebrate X-Men’s Magneto, a superpower-wielding mutant Jewish holocaust survivor who called for the genocide of non-mutants so that the mutants could live in peace, but instead created even more hurtful anti-mutant sentiment in society. Israeli settlers see no irony in these plans.
Daniella Weiss, the head of the Israeli settler organisation (Nachala) - and definitely not a tasteless racist boomer - started all of this when she announced she had 500 Israeli families ready to settle in Gaza ASAP and had already drawn up plans for entire Israeli towns in Gaza. She insists all of this is morally acceptable as “normal Arabs do not want to live in Gaza.” Weiss fails to explain why Palestinians don’t want to live in Gaza, or rather can’t live in Gaza, but Israelis can and want to. Maybe Palestinians hate sand and prefer an alpine environment, and Israelis love being by the sea? No, that’s not it…
Some have cited Weiss’s and the Likud’s government rhetoric around resettlement as evidence of ethnic cleansing. It isn’t. The IDF is simply using indiscriminate lethal force to clear away an ethno-religious group from land they have occupied for centuries for some good beachfront real estate. Completely different.
There are questions over whether this new development will be profitable. Polls show that the vast majority of Israelis don’t want to resettle in Gaza. Apparently, it has something to do with it being a mass graveyard of a catastrophic genocide, and for some reason, Jews have an aversion to being around such horrific crimes against humanity? Either that or it’s because most Israelis, and Jews for that matter, aren’t psychopathic genocidal racists and actually self-aware decent people.
*Disclaimer* all articles published by Beyond The Bull are satire. Some aspects of this story have been embellished. Take this piece seriously at your peril.