Elon Musk Leaked As Buyer Of Truth Social
Truth Social Goes Public.
Free speech absolutist Elon Musk has become dissatisfied with X/Twitter, as the social media site he bought to protect free speech has, for some unknown reason, banned numerous accounts, including credible journalists. I’m sure that has nothing to do with the fact they were all critical of him. Musk saw an opportunity to rectify this situation on Tuesday by buying into Trump’s Truth Social, and leaks have detailed how Musk went on a spending spree, pushing the company’s value up to $10 billion shortly after it went public, with the value dropped to $7.8 billion by the end of the day. By teaming up, Trump & Musk plan on losing yet more billions of dollars together defending hate speech. Sorry, I mean “free speech.”
The genius business move makes complete sense for Musk. Just like X/Twitter, Truth Social is wildly overvalued and far from profitable. Its revenue was only $3.5 million in 2023, with expenses of well over $30 million. Apparently, advertisers don’t want to use either platform and associate themselves with the perfuse extremism, hate speech and violent rhetoric on them. Musk has claimed this is yet more evidence the “woke mind virus” is infiltrating America. After all, the American public has shown they love brands associated with nationalist, bigoted, fascistic racists. Just look at VW, Mercedes, Hugo Boss, Chanel, Ford, GM, Adidas, IBM and Soda Stream, just to name a few. Stock experts aren’t convinced though, and warn Truth Social’s current valuation is untethered to reality, just like Musk and Trump.
Musk’s purchase is particularly good for Trump. Despite what the two claim, the First Amendment doesn’t protect speech “integral to illegal conduct and speech that incites imminent lawless action”, hence why Twitter could legally boot Trump off the site for inciting a little party at the Capitol on Jan 6th 2021. It also means that those vulnerable to violence or harm from criminal actions organised or incited using the unmoderated speech on Truth Social have a right to sue the platform for damages and even neglect of care. As Trump’s Lawyers have collectively shat the bed during his recent numerous criminal cases, having access to Elon’s crack squad of moral gymnastic performing, class action lawsuit-breaking, and union-busting lawyers will come in handy. That is, if Truth Social can gather enough users to actually incite anything meaningful.
Sadly, Trump currently can’t sell his shares or use them as collateral for a loan to cover his ever-growing legal fines and overdue bonds. There are lock-up rules in places which require him to leave his 69% stake (nice) alone for at least six months. But this doesn’t mean Trump will have to sell his Russian piss tapes or pawn off the last dregs of his decrepit soul to the devil to keep the wolves from his door. The Truth Social board could grant Trump a waiver, allowing him to sell his $5.3 billion stake. Seasoned investors are worried this would let Trump do a “Pump & Dump”, which, no, isn’t the sweaty autoerotic coprophilic morning routine Trump has had ever since Melania refused to bed the fake-tanned adult toddler. Though, I’m sure Trump finds such egocentric financial tactics equally masturbatory, and this would keep up his tradition of scamming his fans out of as much of their money as possible.
*Disclaimer* all articles published by Beyond The Bull are satire. Some aspects of this story have been embellished. Take this piece seriously at your peril.