Trump Accuses Liberal Media Of Trying To Help Him
Liberal media misquoting is a conundrum for Trump.
The Frankenstein offspring of a discarded Big Mac, an out-of-date bottle of fake tan and a recently yaked-up hairball, also known as Trump, has accused liberal media of attempting to help his presidential campaign by misquoting him. Liberal outlets had a field day last weekend, reporting that at an Ohio rally, Trump called for a “bloodbath” if he wasn’t reelected. In reality, that statement came after Trump declared he would save the US auto industry by putting a 100% tariff on Chinese cars being imported to the US from Mexico, and immediately went on to say that if he isn’t reelected, “there would be a bloodbath for the… that’s going to be the least of it for the country.” Conservative outlets have decried the liberal coverage as fake news, claiming he was talking specifically about the auto industry, not inciting another insurrection. Trump, on the other hand, has accused the liberal media of trying to help him reach more voters by widely publicising his fascistic dog whistle out loud. Sadly, Trump can’t have his voter base see him being so favourably covered by the liberals as it confuses them, so he has insisted they stop.
Trump’s ex-campaign manager and likely campaign manager for 2024, Paul Manafort, has recognised this as a potentially brilliant strategy. By barely burying dog whistles, the liberal media can’t help but accuse Trump of saying the horrific things he actually wants to say. With this strategy, Trump has plausible deniability and can influence media across the political spectrum to spout his rhetoric, all while having a seemingly legitimate reason to smear liberal media as fake news. I mean, what are the chances that these left-leaning outlets will spend the time crafting quality reports that explain the nuances and subtext of Trump’s inane ramblings? What’s more, with this strategy, there is no need for any financial fraud this time! It’s literally a win-win for him.
What’s interesting is what the liberal media didn’t cover. While Trump’s tariff plan is brilliant and original and in no way violates the free market solutions, so beloved by capitalists like Trump, it’s not like Biden isn’t doing something about this problem already. Biden’s administration is actively considering banning Mexican-built “smart” Chinese vehicles on security grounds, just as Trump banned Huawei. After all, Mr. “Tesla’s will drive themselves next year” Musk is far more trustworthy than anything from China. But for some reason, many liberal media outlets forgot to mention this crucial detail and instead focused on the bloodbath comment. I mean, why would they? Their job isn’t reporting actual politics.
Like the liberal media, Biden and Harris have released a statement condemning Trump’s bloodbath comments, claiming that Trump “wants another January 6, but the American people are going to give him another electoral defeat this November because they continue to reject his extremism, his affection for violence, and his thirst for revenge.” This is clear evidence Biden has finally gone senile, as he can’t remember the US’s long history of extreme, violent, revengeful and occasionally antidemocratic actions towards pretty much every South American Country, Korea, Vietnam, Cambodia, the Civil Rights Movement, the Gulf Wars, the Iraqi invasion, occupation of Afghanistan and many more.
*Disclaimer* all articles published by Beyond The Bull are satire. Some aspects of this story have been embellished. Take this piece seriously at your peril.